True Love Relating - Do’s And Don’ts’


Print this Page
2007 © Strephon Kaplan-Williams

We have here a list of things to do and not do in having successful love relationships. This list is created by a professional relationships counselor and psychotherapist. Some of his suggestions may seem outrageous to you, but there is fun and learning in being shocked, is there not? Following the suggestions in this list as practices may change how you love and relate in life. It is your choice. Loving Laurie Audio Book is the background true story that is the basis for this list of the right way to love. Sometimes making lists is an important way of thinking through a life situation. True Love Relating is certainly a major life experience that we all need to develop in and have the right perspective on.

Here our some list items on True Love Relating. Check them out. Mark which you agree with, and which you do not agree with. Give your reasons in conversation with somebody.

Key Question
What are you doing to learn how to truly love?
Bring these lists to the dinner table or a friend’s lunch.

Pull out the list at a cocktail party and see whom of the group leaves you and your list and whom of the group stays.

Outrageous, yes? Not really!

Do’s And Don’ts’
Some Do’s To Do In Love Relating (remember that some may jar your attitudes and seem outrageous)
  • Always be honest, telling your regular partner when you have had sex with someone else.
  • Follow up attractions to other than your regular sex partner with some contact with the other person, even if just to say something that shows your attraction or to make contact.
  • Don’t have sex with more than 100 people in a life-time. I haven’t!
  • Don’t marry the wrong person for you to relate to. I did just that and regret it to my dying day.
  • Don’t yell at your sex partner at the breakfast table. It’s bad for digestion. Create peace, not war, at the beginning of your couple day together.
  • Don’t hide a lot of money from your spouse. Money is reality. Be honest about money. Be honest in your relationship.
  • Don’t sexually lust after people in the real world. Express this lust in fantasies, not reality. The real world is for committed sexual relationships.
  • Don’t hold back on having sex until you are married. You will be too inexperienced about human loving to be able to make a right decision about marriage.
  • Don’t sexually relate to someone you are not creatively compatible with and flowing in love together. I have done this too often in life.

Key Question
Are you having too much sex?
  • If you get in a sexual relationship with someone and it turns out there are some big incompatibilities, end the relationship immediately and let both of you get on with your lives. I have learned how to do this.
  • Have plenty of sex when you are young so you can learn to handle it without getting carried away by sex.
  • Don’t marry or move in with anyone whose sexual needs are still compulsive.
  • Don’t let anyone try to solve their sexual problems in your sexual company.
  • After twenty-five don’t have more than two lovers in one year. By twenty-five you should be deciding on finding the one right sexual mate for you of all available.
  • At age twenty-five if you are having more than five lovers in one year, stop for a year having any sexual contact with anyone, including yourself. Take cold showers. Exercise. Focus on philosophy and spirituality. Develop your mind and your ability to discriminate and follow higher values. This has worked well for some people.
  • Don’t sexually relate to anyone who wants to sexually relate to you just because they want you. If you don’t have strong feelings to explore love with somebody, don’t have sex with them.
  • Don’t treat sex casually. Don’t have sex as part of first dating after age twenty-three, because by then you should have had enough sexual exploration experiences.
  • Don’t be nice to people on the first and second dates. Be real. Say your true feelings about them in the moment from the very beginning.
  • Don’t play games! Don’t be nice to people just to please them or not hurt their feelings.
  • Make a strong demand before you let someone have sex with you. This can be in the form of money, like a present of one thousand dollars. This can be a promise to do something important for you together, like weeding your whole garden, or going away somewhere in nature for a weekend, all expenses paid.

Key Question
Are you really strong enough now to have sex with people?
  • Make some demand that must be fulfilled first, like get a hair-cut, wash the B.O. off your body, clean up your apartment, write ten letters about yourself first that you will reply to. Be creative but make sure the one who wants to explore relating with you pays a price.
  • Sex is not free. It is a powerful creative energy. Don’t give it away, even if you want to get laid.
  • When you have sex, tell your parents about it in detail, how you feel about it, and whatever else you want to say. Have the courage to affirm what you are doing. If they want to punish you or don’t listen, move out immediately. You must take full responsibility to fulfill yourself. You determine your own destiny. Too many adults are afraid of their parents!
  • When you tell your parents about your current sex life, make sure they in exchange tell you about theirs. Don’t let parents get away with hiding themselves and not being as self-revealing as they want you to be. As an adult, order your parents around. They ordered you around enough in childhood.
  • When you have sex with someone, know them first, inspect their genitals. If at all seedy, get them medically checked out first, including an AIDS test. If they don’t do it, then no sex, no sexual relating, no relating, no friendship with you is possible. It is a dangerous world out there.

Key Question
What are your destructive sexual attitudes?
  • After your years or months of sexual exploration, settle down, at least by age twenty-five, and set fundamental conditions about whom you want sexually-lovewise to relate to. Include compatibility, commitment to love fully, commitment to change your lives and personality in the crucible of your love together, equality in power-sharing and in everyday life responsibilities, commitment to honesty and open sharing of all of oneself. And no outside lovemaking with anyone else, but if this occurs then it must be honestly revealed and the issues settled between the two of you.
  • After twenty-five only mate and relate with someone you have a direct energy connection with, as well as the fundamentals above about love relating. Say, “I’m twenty-five now. I don’t sleep with anyone anymore who is not fully compatible with me in a deep love relationship.”
  • Don’t marry or partner with an opposite. The attraction may be strong, but so is the prescription for disaster.
  • Marry, or partner with, a person who has similar fundamentals and values to your own. Relegate the rest to “only friends” or “get lost” status.
  • After twenty-five stop having casual sex just because you have the need to get laid. Now you must find the right one for you. Don’t stay at home alone nights until you do find the right one for you. Keep testing the waters. Keep dating. Go to places where people with your own interests and values are.
  • Once you think you have found the right one, give your all to developing the relationship. Sacrifice anything that stands in the way. Make sure your new partner gives all as well to your developing relationship, and makes all the necessary sacrifices.
  • Don’t mate and relate to egocentric and narcissistic people. I have. They never let you in. They give you glimpses of themselves to keep you interested. Ask yourself, is this person as interested in me as they are in themselves? I know. It’s hard to find someone who is as interested in you as they are in themselves. But keep trying.
  • Don’t relate to losers, even if the relationship is not sexual. Losers are those who criticize and complain, who seem always in crisis, who manipulate you to give them money or take care of them. Who touch on your heart strings. Who have talent and hope, but also insolvable problems, it seems like. Don’t waste any of your life with a loser, even if it is your own child. Let them go from you so they can try and waste other people’s lives, but not yours. Ask yourself, if down underneath you are not also a loser?

Key Question
What are the seven keys that you must have in a love relationship?
  • Apply everything said here above to yourself. Analyze yourself honestly. Are you one of those whom people should not seriously sexually relate to? Be honest. Admit to where you are a weak or incapable lover. Seek professional help. Change yourself and mean it, so that you too can become an honest and true lover in life.
  • Start each day with affirming that you are going to practice being real and positive in what you do that day. True love is positive.

Key Question
What will you sacrifice to find and have true love in your life?
  • True love cares, is honest, leads to realness in all that you do. True love affects others, gives them a lift in life. Giving others a lift in life should also make your own core being and day more positive. Right? Try it! Okay?

Key Question
Who was Laurie and why was she so important in Strephon’s life?